But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
