pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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