Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
