she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
