you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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