Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
