I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
