I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
