Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
God, I missed his penis.
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