can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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