dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
