i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
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