We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
