what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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