Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
