you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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