Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
