well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
