its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
But I just had this pork p�t�. It was dick grabbing.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
