Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
