Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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