Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.�
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
PANTIES FOUND
Randomize
