...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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