I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
