i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Randomize
