just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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