While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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