I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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