Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Randomize
