I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
