We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
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