i wish peter jackson would direct porn
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Randomize
