She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
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