i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
