I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Randomize