At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Randomize
