you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Randomize
