remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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