you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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