You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
