You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Randomize
