Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
