i don't like sucking hair
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Randomize
