are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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