You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
