Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
