listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
