maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
