Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Randomize
