so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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